Blog post: http://iektkj.wordpress.com/2014/09/17/an-industrial-ecology-inspired-puzzle/
Comment date: 1 oct. 2014
Dear Kimberley,
I really enjoyed reading your blog and I have some small recommendations, which I will list you via this reaction.
On the IE-puzzle:
– In my opinion examples are awesome, more is is almost always better.
– A quote from Fightclub (an movie with Brad Pitt): Explaining something to people is best done in three steps: Tell them what you are going to tell them, then tell them, then tell them what you just told them.
– I like your introduction, since it makes clear what the problem is about really well, a small comment is that the introduction is just as long as the rest of the post at the moment, so maybe it is an idea to explain your arguments with a little more words, with more examples, for example:)
– On your first argument: What I understood you mean is that a reason for the rebound effect is materialism, but I am not sure if I am really convinced of that, for if our materialistic way of life is a reason for the rebound effect to occur, does this mean it will not occur in some of the less wealthy parts of the world? I think an improvement in fuel efficiency of a car will lead to more car use there just as well, because driving is then cheaper and therefore more accessible.
– On your second argument: I think this is a great explanation of what you wrote the rebound effect itself is about in the introduction, rather than a reason for it to occur. (http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebound-effect_(economie)), but maybe I am missing your point here, in which case I advise a more extensive explanation.
– On your third argument: I really like this argument, I think I would like it even more when supported by a small example. For example, people should not only drive a prius, but should also be encouraged/rewarded to use the bike on short distances, thereby preventing more car use than before.
On the Friedmann proposition:
I think this is a great explanation of your ex ante position on the Friedmann proposition, I agree with the line of argumentation that Friedmann was right, but the only way to be successful on the long term is to look at all stakeholders, instead of focussing on just the shareholders.
I think you would do good bringing a little more structure to the text, for example by dividing the core part in two alineas (so the complete text will exist of three parts, which creates a nice balance) and concluding with a one sentence summary of what you wrote (”tell them what you told them.” ) I really like the way you end the text with the adapted quote!
I really hope my comments will be of use to you, please keep in mind that this is just my humble opinion:)
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Blog commented: https://sspmblog.wordpress.com/
Comment date: 8/10/2014
Hi!
First of all, I like your stile of writing, it is clear and easy to read.
On your introduction:
– Although I think you have a good correlation for this blog (energy use over time not decreasing), I think it is a good idea to state it a little more explicit, maybe even with a graph.
– I do not completely agree with your statement that we are running out of gas and oil and that finding new sources is not an option. Usually companies that extract resources stop looking for new sources as long as they have enough resources for the next few years and start searching again when they are in need of sources. Therefore I think new sources will be found as soon as we need them and we will not run out of oil an gas for a long time, but of course this discussion is very complicated.
– I would challenge your statement that the cost of renewable energy will outweigh the benefit and make energy only more expensive.
On your argumentation:
Argument 1:
– I agree with this argument, indeed I think there is a lot of inefficiency in houses. On the other hand I think your explanation of this argument is a little brief.
Argument 2:
– Again, I agree with what you write here, but I think you could go a little further, for if there is so much to gain here, why has it not been done yet?
Argument 3:
– It may be true that company buildings are inefficient, but why are they? According to Friedman I would say that efficient lighting and heating in a building would result in less expenses and greater profit and therefore companies are likely to invest in it.
Overall I agree with your argumentation and l like your style of writing a lot, but maybe you could elaborate your argumentation a little.
I hope my comments will be of use to you!
Speaking of Friedman: I could not find your blogpost on the ex ante position on Friedman, I’m sorry, maybe it is not accessible yet?
kind regards,
Hans Peter
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Blog commented: http://michaeloconnorindustrialecology.blogspot.nl/2014/09/blog-post.html?showComment=1412783891110#c6083221042365831514
Date of comment: 08/10/2014
Dear Michael,
Although I agree with what you have written so far, I assume this is only your introduction and you will introduce your newsitem later. Therefore I cannot comment much right now (08/10/2014).
kind regards,
Hans Peter
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Blog commented: http://iezejun.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/week-2-a-decision-making-analysis-over-a-news-piece/comment-page-1/#comment-3
Comment date: 8/10/2014
Dear Zejun,
I enjoyed reading your blog, and although I agree on your global argumentation, I have some small remarks.
– The text is not so easy to read, it might be a good idea to add some more structure, use shorter sentences and summarize briefly at the end of the blog.
– I think It is very good that you start by explaining the definition of rationality and then apply it to the case, and stick to this structure in the second part.
– I think your definition of rationality should also include the term profit, for a decision that maximizes profit is optimal for a company.
– I think the length of your blog is just right, not too long and not too short.
– I think your definition of Bounded rationality should also include terms like uncertainty, adaptation and trade offs, for you explain these terms in your definition, but mentioning them will make it more clear.
I hope my comments will be helpful to you, please remember that this is just my opinion:)
kind regards,
Hans Peter
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Blog commented: http://iezejun.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/week-2-b-my-position-on-friedman-proposition-now-a-reconsideration/comment-page-1/#comment-4
Date of comment: 08/10/2014
Dear Zejun,
I liked your blog and I have some comments as well,
– I like how you mention the three angles in the last part, but I think it would be good to put them into three different paragraphs and work them out a little more, maybe with examples, for this would improve the structure of the text as a whole.
– I think that, at the end of the blog, you should include a small summary that states your current position concerning the Friedman article very briefly, this will make the blog easier to read and understand.
I hope my comments can be of help,
Kind regards,
Hans Peter
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Blog commented: http://sairamiroslava.wordpress.com/2014/10/11/mangroves-a-way-of-life/comment-page-1/#comment-4
Comment date: 15/10/2014
Dear Sayra,
This week it is my turn to comment on your blog, and first of all I want to say that I think your style of writing is very clear and easy to read, also the length of your blog, in my opinion, is quite optimal.
Also, here are some small remarks with wich I hope to be of help to you in improving your blog.
On the Mangrove part:
I like the fact that you explain the Ostrom model extensively before applying it to the case, and that you explain the shrimping and the mangrove system as an introduction. On the other hand I think the actual analysis (the image you provided) is a little brief when compared to the introduction. Also I had some trouble understanding how you come to the conclusions summarised in this immage, and when combining these two remarks I come to the conclusion that I think you would do good explaining this image a little more.
On the Friedman part:
Again: I really like your style of writing, But maybe explain some of your underlying reasoning as well. For example, if I understood you well, you do the assumption that ‘profit’ and ‘sustainability’ are the same here, because being sustainable will earn profit on the long term. I would challenge this assumption, for short term profit (just produce and sell as much shrimp as possible) is a form of profit as well, and maybe the conseqences of this short term profit generation will not affect the current users directly, meaning that short-term profit is acutally the only profit gained and sustainable management of the region will not result in maximum profit.
I hope my comments are of help to you:)
kind regards,
Hans Peter
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Blog commented: http://socialscienceforindustrialecology.wordpress.com/2014/10/08/water-privatisation-can-we-self-organise-the-valuable-natural-resource-of-water/#respond
comment date: 15/10/2014
Hey Nicole,
My turn to comment on your blog this week!
First of all: I like the fact that you have so much data supporting your statements in the first part, for the second part I think it would be a good thing if you mention or find some more sources to support your story.
Second: Your system boundaries are very clear, which is a good thing. I think stating these in the very first paragraph as well would give the reader an even better insight in what your text is about, making it easier to understand.
Third: You have worked out some of the second-level variables and skipped some others, which I think is not a problem, but maybe it is a good thing to shortly motivate why you chose exactly these as the most important ones.
A last small point: You mention that water is a very mobile resource unit, for me this was sort of a confusing statement, for altough the water itself moves, the larger bodies of water, such as seas, rivers and lakes, usually stay in the same place. In other words, although water is mobile, you do not have to chase it if you want to harvest it, which is different from other mobile resources, such as herds of animals or schools of fish.
Overall I think this blogpost is well-written and I liked to read it, I hope my comments will be of use to you!
kind regards,
Hans Peter
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Blog commented: http://suchasocialsystem.wordpress.com/
Comment date: 19/11/2014
Dear Francesca,
I think you did this blog really well, it shows the research you did and explains the different mechanisms clearly. Concerning the structure of the blog, I would recommend you to state the purpose of this blog or the portfolio question, combined with a brief summary of the video as an introduction. Also it would be good to have a small summarizing statement at the end.
Concerning the blog itself, I think the argument you make is clear, but maybe take some time to elaborate more and explain some more of the assumptions you do, this would make your blog easier to read and understand.
Also: Maybe include whether these mechanisms used by NOKIA are successful or not, and what coordination mechanism could improve on this.
Kind regards,
Hans Peter
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Blog commented: http://dicapojura.blogspot.nl/2014/10/nokia-is-strivingfor-legitimacy-by.html#comment-form
Comment date: 19/11/2014
Dear Diana Carolina,
– I think what you have written now serves as a good outline for a final product. This is because I think you did the argumentation very well, it just needs a little more elaboration.
– I agree with what you wrote, but maybe a hint: Look at Powell and DiMaggio (1983) for some mechanisms, I think this could be a valuable addition to your writings.
Kind regards,
Hans Peter Honkoop
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Blog commented: http://dvssspm.blogspot.nl/2014/11/sodexo-and-tu-delft-in-tight-network.html#comment-form
Comment date: 19/11/2014
Dear Daniel,
Nice blogpost, nice argumentation, nice writing, I liked it!
On the con side: maybe your introduction about your own lunch could contain a little more information about Sodexo itself, for it is hard to understand the company from this blog when you don’t know it. Furthermore, maybe close your post with a little summarizing statement, this would be nice for the harmony within the text.
Overall I think you have explained quite a tough topic very clearly.
Kind regards,
Hans Peter
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Blog commented: http://thesocialsideofie.blogspot.nl/
Comment date: 19/11/2014
– No blog entry done.
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Blog commented: http://michelangelonina.wordpress.com/
Comment date: 19/11/2014
– No blog entry done.
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Blog commented: http://josefinerook.blogspot.nl/
Comment date: 19/11/2014
Dear Josefine,
I think your writingstyle is very clear and this post has a good structure. You use clear referencing and you explain your statements well, but I think one major element is missing from this blog: a clear explanation of the new rules proposed. I think you need to add one more paragraph, just bullet-pointing all the rules of the new game and your blogpost will be way more complete.
kind regards,
Hans Peter
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Blog commented: iematters.weblog.leidenuniv.bl
Comment date: 19/11/2014
– Could not open blog.
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Blog commented: http://ilonkamarselis.blogspot.nl/
Comment date: 19/11/2014
Dear Ilonka,
I think your blog has a good structure and is easy to read, your argumentation and implementation of Sabatier’s framework are clear. Maybe you could improve the structure of the blog a little by introducing headers for the different alineas. Also I think some of the explanations are a little too elaborate, making it harder to understand.
Overall I think this blogpost is very well written.
Kind regards,
Hans Peter